Chaos and Order, right and wrong

At the children’s insistence I am reading The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan, the books are woven around Egyptian mythology.  Central is the concept of Ma’at (order in the universe) and Chaos.

I write because I love language, word play and it is a medium through which sometimes in golden moments I feel part of something bigger and better outside of myself.  Writing is also a tool which I use to process thoughts and feelings. In times of chaos words provide structure and I work through things by forcing swirling fragments into a semblance of order.

It’s funny how you know when you’ve done something wrong.  As soon as I published my last post I had a feeling of disquiet.  Things of good and beauty elevate the spirit, but after that I felt depleted and diminished.  I’m not sure why I published the altercation with my friend.  It should have been enough to work through the issues raised in a notebook to be put away and forgotten.  Or sent directly to her.  Maybe feeling defensive and hurt I wanted someone to say that I was right and she was wrong (not that more than about 5 people read what I write here).  Not mature.

It’s past midnight, I got out of bed to write this and then delete the previous post.  Perhaps I’ll be able to sleep now



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  1. Sula, I don’t think you are immature in posting your thoughts and the altercation with your friend – then again I am far from an expert in friendships and relationships – I am an expert at ending them though 😉 I also like writing to process my thoughts and get them off my chest – also recommended by psychologists.
    The truth is probably that neither of you were right – neither of you were wrong. But you both have strong opinions. From the point of view of her living in New Zealand and you living in South Africa – rules for one can’t apply to both – I have had to tell myself that – in the judgement of others. New Zealand can afford to be a Nanny State – they look after their citizens’, residents and even visitors. For example – Covid Wage subsidy for a full-time worker was $585.00 a week, Part-Time $385.00 a week compared to the $35.00 (equivalent) a month they were given in South Africa- even those on work visas got it. The closing of beaches – if it was for Search & rescue like it is in other countries, from drownings and shark attacks, maybe they can offer the same courtesy to protect the citizens on the streets and suburbs and towns from murders and robberies.
    5 people probably only read your post, for no other reason than, algorithms and keywords and all that is involved with blogs and websites these days, just prevent posts from showing up anywhere unless you have a massive social media following and nothing to do with the validation you were seeking or whether you were right or wrong.

    What is that quote about people breaking the law when they hid Anne Frank – they were not breaking a moral law. You are living in South Africa, your friend isn’t and I am not and we cannot stand in judgement of how you are dealing with life with ridiculous laws – including not going for your Covid Test. I won’t be offended if you delete this comment because you want to move on from your previous post. You probably both overreacted and a lot of emotion and meaning is lost when not sitting face to face, talking. Typing a conversation and not speaking makes for a lot of conflict and misunderstanding – if that is how the altercation ha[ppened.

    This post was a reminder that I had to deal with my compromised email account 😉. Its the email account from my blog domain, I still have the domain and this email is used only for Facebook, Twitter Instagram, Pinterest and WordPress & Blogger Blog Feeds – go figure. First, it was Facebook telling me there was suspicious activity on my account, I think the scammers went on my profile and thought they were being scammed because nothing there
    😁😁 and around about then, I received emails from Netflix to that same email address to complete signing up for my account. I have never ever tried to sign up with Netflix and have never had a Netflix account, then the threatening Bitc*in email all to the same address. I was meant to delete that email address then, but just changed it on Facebook and changed all my passwords – its deleted now. As soon as I have sorted another email address will sign up for notifications of your blog posts. It makes you wonder why that email address.

    • Thank you Dianne for your thoughtful comment. You are right we both have strong opinions and that’s good, and expressing our different thoughts is exactly what freedom of expression should be about. The world would be awfully boring if we all agreed. Perhaps down the line my friend and I will communicate properly again. In many ways Facebook and social media have also deeply harmed proper interaction because instead of communicating in a personal and intimate way, we click like or post a few words. I hunger to return to one on one real engagement. My aunt in Edinburg who never joined Facebook sends lovely e-mails, few of us bother with personalised messages any more. Birthdays are the absolute worst, Facebook shows reams of “happy birthday, have a lovely day” kind of messages but hardly anyone picks up the phone for a personal greeting any more (myself included), it’s so empty. I remember the recent sick feeling of seeing birthday messages posted on the timeline of a person who had died.

      Funny I recently had a chat with a friend about breaking the law, we were talking about how important it is to teach children to obey the law. I then said that maybe we need to teach our children to sometimes be rebels. What happens when the law wants to force us to do something which goes against our ethics, rights or morals, I’m thinking more of the future than a specific law at present. I went looking for your Anne Frank quote, could not find it but found this gem among others “People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but that doesn’t stop you from having your own opinion.”

      I hope that you sorted out the problems on your e-mail, I would really really miss our small communications

      • I have sorted an email address now. We may not always agree and sometimes our ideas and opinions differ vastly but I always value your opinion and that you stand your ground when it comes to your values, I would also miss our communications.
        It’s good to see you blogging again. I doubt that I will be going back onto Twitter again and I have completely deleted Instagram.
        Ah, the Anne Frank Quote maybe it isn’t an actual quote but an analogy to life in lockdown, especially in SA – Whilst people were protecting her, they were actually breaking the law and going against the ruling party – but an immoral, unjust law, inhumane and cruel law. So are you/ were you, really rebelling in your disagreement with the rules of the current law? If that makes sense.

        I enjoyed catching up with your blog – your children are so talented with their art and gardening.

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