When I heard the pitter patter of Acacia’s feet heading for our bedroom, my first thought was “I really hope Cliff get’s up for her and leaves me to have a bit of extra Mother’s Day snooze”. At first while he lay there eyes shut I felt a bit sulky. When I looked at her smiling face, so delighted to see me all I felt was love and gratitude. Her little body curled up next to me, cold little feet warming themselves against me. Nose to nose the boundaries blur between where I end and she begins. When she invites me into her world with warmth, smiles and kisses. I am so very blessed! Moments later Fjord joins us, more love, more joy. My 4 children are my greatest gifts, precious and treasured beyond words.
Fjord and Acacia are my ‘laat lametjies’ (late lambs). Because it took time, patience and a lot of worry to conceive them, I appreciate the gift of motherhood even more. Losing little Smidgen when I was 9 weeks pregnant hurt more than I imagined. Still that little life added so much to the sum of who I am.
I ache for the mothers who never held their unborn children. I ache for the women who longed to be mothers but are not. I can’t imagine the pain of the mother who shared only a few hours or days with their precious babies. No mother should out live her children, no matter what age. I am so grateful that my children are healthy and alive, that the avenues of life are still open to them. I view the world with fresh wonder seeing it through their eyes.
My lesson this Mother’s Day was that the day is not about “gimme, gimme, get get get” (to quote Charlie Brown). It is about appreciating every aspect of being a mother. It is an honour and a privilege to be a parent. My children are my greatest gift.
I may not have had a bit of extra snooze but being greeted with smiles, love and kisses can’t compare with the world of dreams. I love my reality.
Cliff cooked me a yummy breakfast and in the afternoon we went to Suikerbosrand Nature Reserve for a braai (barbecue). The day ended with a majestic African sunset, I lost count of my blessings during the day but know that my cup runneth over. The only thing missing was sharing the day with Domi and Heath, but I will see them soon for that I am so grateful.
Reading this I worry that it sounds smug. I don’t want to be disrespectful of anyone who has lost a child or is not a mother. I know that it may seem unfair that I have 4 children, I guess it is. I just want you to know that I appreciate what I have and don’t take it for granted.