Skimming Stones | Sula's Blog | Sula1968 A South African poet, potter and mother
There are very mixed feelings about internet dating sites but over 9 years ago I met Cliff through Matchmaker.com. In fact I also met my previous boyfriend Gavin on the same site and we were together for 4 years, he is a fantastic guy but wasn’t the one I was meant to spend my life with. When you are single there are few options to meet people, initially I joined Matchmaker just looking for friends. I liked the safety of the dating site and the fact that I could be very specific about the people who I was interested in meeting. I chatted to Gavin and built a good friendship over months before we got around to meeting, when we did it was like reuniting with an old friend.
With Clifford we met quite soon after our first few e-mails. We were Engaged within months and married exactly a year after the date we met.
Of course there is the business of separating the wheat from the chaff and I had some interesting and amusing 1 off encounters. In 2 cases I couldn’t wait to make an excuse to get home and never see the men again. I ‘met’ one wonderful guy who lived in Canada and is now in Mexico, we never met face to face but I made a friend who is interesting, intelligent and has a great sense of humour.
It is absolutely imperative that when you ‘meet’ people online, NEVER give them personal details before you see them face to face. Arrange your first meeting to be at a safe place such as a coffee shop or mall. Know that there are creeps and bad guys out there and that they love internet dating sites.
We live in a very insular world and it is not easy to meet dating partners or friends, particularly if you don’t have much of a social life. When I met Cliff and Gavin I was a single working mother. I had very few avenues open to meet people. I did not want to pick up someone in a bar. With online dating I felt that I had control over both the pace and the nature of the relationship which I was very comfortable with.
I now have the most perfect partner and am deeply happy. If it weren’t for the www we would never have found each other.
That’s a lovely story. The comment about ‘interesting encounter’ made me smile. I friend of mine who’s a psychotherapist tried out Match.com. It didn’t work for her in the romance section, but gave her material to write about.