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My daughter’s wedding, healing and new beginnings

Father and daughter, dancing to a new beat

Father and daughter, dancing to a new beat

Ingredients for a happy wedding include, love, family, fun, joy, celebration, decoration, dress, weather, etc.  At my daughter Dominique’s wedding to Duncan, an unexpected ingredient elevated the day to perfection.  That element was healing.  Healing built bridges over family rifts.  Without grand gestures, in spontaneous smiles, in genuine joy to rediscover, the voluntary will to rise above petty pasts was effortless as an air current.

As the yarn of forgiveness seamlessly knitted, perished family fabric to a new pattern.  One relationship transcended all others.  One person ensured that the day would be burnished into gleaming foreverness, for my daughter.*  That person was the most unlikely bearer of joy.  This person was the one aspect of the wedding which I was not looking forward to.  That person previously personified pain and disappointment.  I never liked to call Ian Dominique’s father, he was just Ian.  Ian who ditched me on announcement of my pregnancy.  Ian who let my daughter down so many times, in so many ways.  Those last few sentences are the very last time that I will dwell on his failings.  This time Ian made good, this time he changed the story line of his daughter’s life, and his role in it.

Domi's Pa (my father) walked her to the altar

Domi’s Pa (my father) walked her to the alter

Ian travelled from England to be at Domi’s wedding (when he left South Africa he didn’t even say goodbye to her).  He knew that her Grandfather would walk her down the aisle.  He knew that her immediate family actively disliked him.  Still he made the effort, placing himself in what must have been a very uncomfortable space.  In the past I said a lot about his lack of backbone.  In being there for his daughter, this time, he demonstrated true courage, he demonstrated a display of qualities which I would never have credited him with.

The wedding was Domi and Duncan’s beginning as husband and wife.  It was also a new beginning  for father and daughter.  This day will be remembered as the day when the broken was restored.  The day which became a mended vessel to contain new dreams.   The day when I witnessed metamorphosed transformation, leaving me smiling as new relationships flexed iridescent wings.

* As I struggled to find the right words my sister-in-law Jane found the perfect phrase


  1. Oh Ursula – this makes me so happy. How absolutely wonderful that he grew up enough to have the courage to do this.

    • Thank you Cat

    • For lasting success, read in;

      True healing only takes place when the Holy Spirit is welcomed in any church. The Holy Spirit first examines the Heart of the Pastor, if Jesus ‘s word are in his heart, if there is LOVE in his heart, then the Holy Spirit does the work that the Pastor asks for.
      It is written; “As God sent me, so send I you”.
      “Freely the gift of healing is given to you, freely you must give it to others”.
      Jesus showed that he is the solution to every human problem, that he came for that practical reason. So that the evidence can increase our faith, so why is miracles and wonders not seen in our churches. Pastors shift the blame for no healing onto other peoples faith. Jesus showed that everyone was healed because their faith was demonstrated by the fact that they came to him. That is more than enough faith. Everyone has enough faith for stunning miracles when they come to church for help as shown also by the Holy Apostles work and now I see Jesus Christ’s Full power relived on Dstv Ch390.
      Their website is
      The holy Spirit cannot be fooled into action. It first searches our Hearts. Are our Preachers and Pastors Hearts ready ?

  2. I’m so glad for you, Ursula.

  3. Oh Sula what a beautiful beginning to your daughter’s new life.

    “Those last few sentences are the very last time that I will dwell on his failings.” Onward and upward. *raising my coffee mug in cheers* You’re an amazing woman.

  4. Suls, well said, Ian thanks for your effort. Dom and Duncan you deserve no less. Lots of love to both of you.

  5. Sula you captured the moment with such poignancy! I could not help but reflect on my personal journey even though my son is only 8. I am so happy for you and your family’ new beginning.

  6. So happy for all of you, especially your daughter

  7. Wow, beautiful wedding and such a wonderful story. It is so touching that bridges can be mended after so many years. I hope this is the start of a long lasting and fruitful relationship between your daughter and her dad.

  8. Wow! What a beautiful story. Thank you for this heartfelt post.

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