At the children’s insistence I am reading The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan, the books are woven around Egyptian mythology. Central is the concept of Ma’at (order in the universe) and Chaos.
I write because I love language, word play and it is a medium through which sometimes in golden moments I feel part of something bigger and better outside of myself. Writing is also a tool which I use to process thoughts and feelings. In times of chaos words provide structure and I work through things by forcing swirling fragments into a semblance of order.
It’s funny how you know when you’ve done something wrong. As soon as I published my last post I had a feeling of disquiet. Things of good and beauty elevate the spirit, but after that I felt depleted and diminished. I’m not sure why I published the altercation with my friend. It should have been enough to work through the issues raised in a notebook to be put away and forgotten. Or sent directly to her. Maybe feeling defensive and hurt I wanted someone to say that I was right and she was wrong (not that more than about 5 people read what I write here). Not mature.
It’s past midnight, I got out of bed to write this and then delete the previous post. Perhaps I’ll be able to sleep now