Some days I really don’t know if a poem works or not. Comments below most welcome
YOUR LOT
Pillars of salt
arise from
retrospective tears
white statues
haunting
eluding
every sense
breath
blood
passion
and pain
only exist in the now
in today
Yesterday offers
unquenchable thirst
Today presents
champagne
A few hours later the last few lines have been changed and it probably works a bit better
YOUR LOT
Pillars of salt
arise from
retrospective tears
white statues
haunting
eluding
every sense
savour
passion and poignancy
before they turn to brine
I like the first one about how the past has unquenchable thirst and today there is champagne. It has to be a positive and I like all the senses involved in the present.
Thank you Heather, I value your input
They are both brilliant. I’d love to hear you do a poetry reading one day. Your own poems naturally. Maybe you could do a vlog?