40 winks is better than ’50 Shades Freed’

Actually being in a pit of spiders is probably better than ’50 shades Freed’.  Sorry the book has killed my brain I can’t write coherent sentences but some descriptive words would be puerile, trite, tripe, boring, trash, thin, pathetic.

I was rather kind about the 1st book in my previous review and still think that the 1st two are reasonable light entertainment but ‘Freed’ is pointless and seems very much only there to fit into the current trend of Trilogies and make more money for the author and publishers.  I thought of deleting my previous review because I’m so annoyed with the 3rd, but that was my impression at the time, I now take great portions back in shame.

I could say “don’t read further spoiler alert”, but I sincerely advise that you don’t bother with the 3rd book of the trilogy so consider the following synopsis a gift from me to you to spare you reading the book.

fight, make up, shag, fight, shag, make up, on repeat ad nauseam. Attempt at plot first half of book; teeny girl guide fail arson fire at Grey Enterprises, car chase, intruder (Jack, Ana’s ex boss) gets caught by security people when main characters aren’t even home.

The 2nd half of the book, a vague attempt at plot is made.  Elliot and Kate get engaged, married and have a daughter.  Ana falls pregnant, Christian has a wobbly.  Jack gets out on bail, kidnaps Mia (Christian’s sister).  Elizabeth from SIP was blackmailed into working with him.  Jack comes from same foster home as Christian and feels that he should be the one with his bum in the butter.  Ana rescues Mia.   Ana has a baby boy and is preggers again with a girl when the book ends.  And they live happily ever after.

Now I am desperate to read a real book, feel like I’ve been living on mental take away meals and now need something gourmet.

Update 19/10/13 – This is the funniest and best book review I’ve ever read, have a look